This is so touching, Kathy, thank you for letting us into your world and sharing your sobbing spot for a few minutes with us.
I can’t quite compare my exhaustion from the past with yours but having a small balcony garden and nurturing the soil and later harvesting the veg has been so healing for me as well.
Fascinating how I learned to mother myself more while mothering the little seeds that later grew into tall beans, paprika, tomatoes and flowers 💗
Ah Lovely One. Your post made me cry and took me back to a dark place of sofa, M&S Cookie Dough Balls and waking up feeling like sodden, disintegrating bread left out in the rain, invisible, even to the birds. 25 years in The City as an Organisational Psychologist…….. of listening and reframing, encouraging egos to move past just themselves to strategy, away from home every week, back and forth to the airport (the visceral ‘kill drive’ evoked at anybody who beat me to their seat on the plane, but took MY overhead pannier)……….thank God for tomato seed!
5 years on and l realise (and revel in) my obsession with growing tomatoes, at ‘having a go growing’ and pondering a lack of celeriac germination?? It’s taken a long time, but it brings me such joy in the winter opening a jar of ‘my own’ Aga roast tomato paste with ‘my own’ toffee scented garlic. How scrumptious.
I understand, and l too, feel my heart warmed up again, ever grateful ….,…to veg!
Sian, thank you. But I'm sorry it made you cry. I couldn't agree more - thank heavens for tomato seeds. (Still not sure I can totally forgive the person who took up all the space in the overhead locker though). Thank you for sharing your experiences and may life bring you fully germinating celeriac xx
That's kind of you to say, thank you Simon. It was only horrendous to me. In many ways it was incredibly privileged - salary, prospects, security, travel, status etc. And it offered a safety net that meant I had the luxury of being able to sit in the veg patch and recover. Lord alone knows how those without the means and support I had made it through.
Movingly written, honest and candid. Fortunately I have not endured what you have, but I do acknowledge the restorative effect of soil, seeds and sun - and being enveloped in the Cotswolds. I hate to say this when so many had a horrible time, but after catching and recovering from covid I had a really enjoyable time pottering about in the garden, which I had largely ignored, for months.
Thank you, Peter, and I'm so glad you found the garden a healing place after Covid. I think there's power in tending to a place, pottering as you say, and seeing it quietly come back to life. Thanks for reading my piece.
Thank you for sharing your story. I see so many similarities to my own. I also work in advertising and had a big job before things collided in a perfect storm and like you I couldn’t function at a very basic level. Like you I found recovery in the garden and strangely enough in DIY. I wonder how many other stories there are out there from adland. As a much younger person in advertising I used to wonder where all the ‘old people’ were but now I think my be they were all tending vegetable patches of their own.
That’s so interesting, Rebecca. Are you still in adland now? I think DIY is a brilliant therapy! And a very useful one too. I wonder if there’s therapeutic satisfaction in creating something out of nothing that applies to both growing and DIY?
I’m still in Adland but very much on the outskirts at a broadcaster. It’s a lot more relaxed and enjoyable. I also took a few steps down so I could do the work I enjoy without some of the other things that didn’t serve me. I think there is definitely something in the act of creating. It seems to be a thread through a lot of things I love.
Your analogy of the hen, battery to free range is very powerful. Your story is powerful and shared experiences like these, help others discover themselves again. Thank you for sharing your story with us and long may that garden flourish x
Thank you, Cathren. I have to give credit for the battery / free range analogy to the band Stornaway, who wrote a song called We Are the Battery Human (link below). It always made me cry and it was only after I left addend that it dawned on my why that was.
What courage you have, Kathy, to make yourself vulnerable - veg growing indeed flower growing also, enables us to flourish, along with our plants. That little eco system within our soil is another, very special world 💕
Thank you, Sue. I'm not sure it's courage as much as needing to feel like it's not just me! And yes, I agree, something about watching nature grow out of nothing is healing stuff.
Thank you Mark, that's really kind of you. It's such a special thing. In a way that simply gardening isn't for me. Something about the agency, the self-sufficiency, makes it particularly powerful.
Exactly this. As marvellous as gardening is, its core is - strictly speaking - unnecessary, whereas doing one of life's true essentials for yourself, not outsourcing every act fundamental to your existence to someone else is very powerful indeed
What a wonderful piece of writing! And hello from a fellow gardening convert- ex pr turned restaurant veg grower (although I must admit I do find my new job very stressful sometimes even though I love it!). Also sowing radishes soon!x
Thanks so much, Alex. That means a lot coming from a fellow convert. I’m meeting lots of people who left something like or/advertising/marketing for gardens. Thinking of starting a club! 😂
"I was not ‘getting away from it all’ when I came to the patch, I was putting myself back in, back at the centre of things."
This.
We so often "need to get away" or "have a break" and seek refuge for some fleeting moments of peace. When really what we need to do is reframe it like you have so beautifully done and put ourselves back in the center of things.
Thanks, Clay. I'm happy to find someone else this makes sense to! I feel it's especially true of nature since this is what the world really is, not the stuff we humans have built on it.
This is so touching, Kathy, thank you for letting us into your world and sharing your sobbing spot for a few minutes with us.
I can’t quite compare my exhaustion from the past with yours but having a small balcony garden and nurturing the soil and later harvesting the veg has been so healing for me as well.
Fascinating how I learned to mother myself more while mothering the little seeds that later grew into tall beans, paprika, tomatoes and flowers 💗
Tending to the soil is beautiful medicine!
That’s so beautifully put and I totally agree. Something about growing food gives you agency to care for yourself I think. Thank you x
Ah Lovely One. Your post made me cry and took me back to a dark place of sofa, M&S Cookie Dough Balls and waking up feeling like sodden, disintegrating bread left out in the rain, invisible, even to the birds. 25 years in The City as an Organisational Psychologist…….. of listening and reframing, encouraging egos to move past just themselves to strategy, away from home every week, back and forth to the airport (the visceral ‘kill drive’ evoked at anybody who beat me to their seat on the plane, but took MY overhead pannier)……….thank God for tomato seed!
5 years on and l realise (and revel in) my obsession with growing tomatoes, at ‘having a go growing’ and pondering a lack of celeriac germination?? It’s taken a long time, but it brings me such joy in the winter opening a jar of ‘my own’ Aga roast tomato paste with ‘my own’ toffee scented garlic. How scrumptious.
I understand, and l too, feel my heart warmed up again, ever grateful ….,…to veg!
Sian, thank you. But I'm sorry it made you cry. I couldn't agree more - thank heavens for tomato seeds. (Still not sure I can totally forgive the person who took up all the space in the overhead locker though). Thank you for sharing your experiences and may life bring you fully germinating celeriac xx
The tears were good ones x
very brave of you to share that. Your job sounded horrendous. i’m glad you are in a happy place from which we now benefit.
That's kind of you to say, thank you Simon. It was only horrendous to me. In many ways it was incredibly privileged - salary, prospects, security, travel, status etc. And it offered a safety net that meant I had the luxury of being able to sit in the veg patch and recover. Lord alone knows how those without the means and support I had made it through.
Movingly written, honest and candid. Fortunately I have not endured what you have, but I do acknowledge the restorative effect of soil, seeds and sun - and being enveloped in the Cotswolds. I hate to say this when so many had a horrible time, but after catching and recovering from covid I had a really enjoyable time pottering about in the garden, which I had largely ignored, for months.
Thank you, Peter, and I'm so glad you found the garden a healing place after Covid. I think there's power in tending to a place, pottering as you say, and seeing it quietly come back to life. Thanks for reading my piece.
Thank you. As one who has been in the depths... Nature heals. I'm so glad she aided in bringing you back to yourself.
Thank you. I hope you found a way out of the depths - did nature help for you too?
Yes. I have a small, city garden on my window sill (!) yet.... being out in the green and hearing the birds. The birdsong perhaps saved me.
Birdsong is an excellent soundtrack to life
Thank you for sharing your story. I see so many similarities to my own. I also work in advertising and had a big job before things collided in a perfect storm and like you I couldn’t function at a very basic level. Like you I found recovery in the garden and strangely enough in DIY. I wonder how many other stories there are out there from adland. As a much younger person in advertising I used to wonder where all the ‘old people’ were but now I think my be they were all tending vegetable patches of their own.
That’s so interesting, Rebecca. Are you still in adland now? I think DIY is a brilliant therapy! And a very useful one too. I wonder if there’s therapeutic satisfaction in creating something out of nothing that applies to both growing and DIY?
I’m still in Adland but very much on the outskirts at a broadcaster. It’s a lot more relaxed and enjoyable. I also took a few steps down so I could do the work I enjoy without some of the other things that didn’t serve me. I think there is definitely something in the act of creating. It seems to be a thread through a lot of things I love.
Your analogy of the hen, battery to free range is very powerful. Your story is powerful and shared experiences like these, help others discover themselves again. Thank you for sharing your story with us and long may that garden flourish x
Thank you, Cathren. I have to give credit for the battery / free range analogy to the band Stornaway, who wrote a song called We Are the Battery Human (link below). It always made me cry and it was only after I left addend that it dawned on my why that was.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN2izF5mPv0
What courage you have, Kathy, to make yourself vulnerable - veg growing indeed flower growing also, enables us to flourish, along with our plants. That little eco system within our soil is another, very special world 💕
Thank you, Sue. I'm not sure it's courage as much as needing to feel like it's not just me! And yes, I agree, something about watching nature grow out of nothing is healing stuff.
I think the world is so old that it’s never just our self 💕someone’s always been there before 💕
Thank you for sharing all this Kathy - it’s very brave and generous of you. It’s a big deal this growing food thing isn’t it x
Thank you Mark, that's really kind of you. It's such a special thing. In a way that simply gardening isn't for me. Something about the agency, the self-sufficiency, makes it particularly powerful.
Exactly this. As marvellous as gardening is, its core is - strictly speaking - unnecessary, whereas doing one of life's true essentials for yourself, not outsourcing every act fundamental to your existence to someone else is very powerful indeed
What a wonderful piece of writing! And hello from a fellow gardening convert- ex pr turned restaurant veg grower (although I must admit I do find my new job very stressful sometimes even though I love it!). Also sowing radishes soon!x
Thanks so much, Alex. That means a lot coming from a fellow convert. I’m meeting lots of people who left something like or/advertising/marketing for gardens. Thinking of starting a club! 😂
"I was not ‘getting away from it all’ when I came to the patch, I was putting myself back in, back at the centre of things."
This.
We so often "need to get away" or "have a break" and seek refuge for some fleeting moments of peace. When really what we need to do is reframe it like you have so beautifully done and put ourselves back in the center of things.
Thanks, Clay. I'm happy to find someone else this makes sense to! I feel it's especially true of nature since this is what the world really is, not the stuff we humans have built on it.